2 more sleeps

I haven't been blogging for a few days, because I had lost my Christmas Spirit, and it's hard to blog about Christmas without it.

Everybody here is under the weather in some way or another. I had a personal spiritual problem I had to work through, and one of my good friends found out she is no longer in remission for Breast Cancer. To top it off, my ever growing list of things to do is dwindling much too slowly, especially as I add things to it.

Then, I found some insight to my problem, and my friend just found out yesterday that she has the best case scenario for survival.

The Spirit is returning, but slowly. I catch glimpses of it, sneaking around corners and trying to cheer me up.

I'm hoping for a good two night's sleep before Christmas is here.

One week until Santa comes to town.

Hmm.

So here we are. Down to the one week mark. Sure it's technically 8 days until Christmas (7-1/2)... but if we aren't ready in one week, we never will be.

I may have been a little too relaxed about Christmas this year and am finding myself in a bit of a pickle. So much to do, so little time. The difference for me this year is realizing that the important things get done, time moves on, and if I take time to relax, the world won't end.

Slow and steady will win this race against time, it will get done, presents will find themselves under the tree. We've seen so many of our wonderful friends, done the cookie exchange, Christmas concert, etc. And I have enjoyed every minute this year... and let myself enjoy it without the pressure of what's next bearing down on me. And I don't lay awake at night worrying about the piles of money that I have spent, sure I've spent money, but I know where every penny has gone and haven't done all that much damage.

Please if you find yourself stressed out... remember this, you are a fantastic person, but you are not all that powerful - you can't make or break Christmas, it will happen even if you mess up. The biggest gift you can give yourself and your family is a peaceful, happy home.

Let it Snow!

Snow.

It's pretty, it's fun, it's a delightful wonder of nature.

It's also deadly and cruel.

This time of year is full of contradictions. We want the pretty fluffy snow for Christmas, we want snow angels, and snow men, and friendly snowball fights. We want to watch the sky dusting us with beautiful dancing snowflakes. At the same time, we want all this when we are all safe and sound inside, with a hot beverage in hand. And preferably sitting around a roaring fire; secure in the knowledge that our friends and family are okay as well. As Canadians we grumble and groan about driving in it, shoveling it, and bundling up, but we are fiercely protective of it as well, especially when it comes to our 'toughness' regarding bad weather.

I say "let it snow"but I can say that knowing that it's going to happen whether I want it or not. It's good to be reminded of things we cannot control, that somebody else is ultimately in control, and I do not need to make that decision. All I have to do is go with the flow, dig out the snowsuits, get up a little earlier to account for the extra bundling and travel time, and start stretching those back muscles.

Winter will come and go. Some days I will love the snow, some days I will look at it as another 4 letter word. But love it or hate it, it is here.

Sorrow

Just followed a story to a tragic end today. A little boy of 7 years wandered out into the woods while following his dog. A boy and his dog, usually such a treat. But this little boy had autism. He spent not one, but two nights in a snowstorm, alone save for the company of his dog. He was not wearing winter clothes, only his indoor clothes. We followed the story on the radio, screening out all the background noise to catch even the faintest news pertaining to him.. then joy of joys - he was found ALIVE yesterday.. His dog had wandered back home and the search party was able to follow the tracks. But tragically, today while I was busying myself with online shopping, holiday organizing and the like, I came across the news in awful black and white... the little boy had died after all. My thoughts immediately flew to my own children, especially my own little 5 year old boy - who even without autism would be apt to follow his dog into the woods too. How as a parent could you survive knowing that your baby is out in the cold, lonely and probably so afraid. I am hoping this poor little soul fell asleep quickly and never fully woke up again... and that now he is resting warm and comfortable for eternity.

Perhaps in the face of tragedy the most noble thing we can do, is pick ourselves up, pray for the family and then take it as a warning to yourself. To never take your own life for granted. As much as I try to never do that, I am sure I do. We need these horrible reminders that life is precious, our children and families are more important than ANYTHING else and to go to bed with your head bowed in thanks to have made it through another day, family intact, and count your blessings.

May we all hold our loved ones a little tighter.

Surprise!

Well well well.

So I found out my husband, in-laws, parents, friends and other family are all capable of pulling a fast one on me. I never in a million years thought I could be surprised by a surprise party. My husband knows this. In fact, I am a great surprise party thrower... I "get" it. But throwing the party after another party that was distracting me was genius. I was so into the other party, and stress over finding the right make up, the right way to wear my hair and getting my husband suitably dressed preoccupied me to an extent that I wasn't at my sharpest. Looking back, there were a few clues that I missed.

Having said that, please do not mistake my surprise at the ability to surprise as anything negative.

I came home from the Christmas party the following afternoon, still not feeling 100%. I had a wicked hangover that I did not deserve. The kind that *some* people actually pitied me for because I really did not over indulge that much. I rushed into a house filled to the brim with family and friends and children. I was so overwhelmed and vulnerable I thought I might cry on the spot, especially when I saw my father, stepmother and little brother. The thought that so many people were there just to celebrate me, that some would travel 1000 miles to see me... I am still feeling overwhelmed.

I don't think I have ever had a better weekend. It started with dinner out on Thursday, a day to myself including a spa trip on Friday, followed by a Christmas party and surprise hotel room upgrade, the wonderful surprise party and then finished up with family games night and some alone time with my husband...chilling out and watching tv.

Today I am trying to find my house, I know it's buried here someplace...

I want to send a huge thank you out to my friends and family who actually do read this and who showed up for that party. I've never felt so loved and cared about. And I am totally okay with turning 30, life only gets better and better.

To tie this in with Christmas, I would like to extend my best wishes to you for a Christmas that leaves you feeling loved as well, and with a peaceful feeling of anticipation for the future. And I should mention my birthday is on Christmas Day.

Plans gone astray.

As is true in any situation, sometimes even the best plans can go wrong.

Take this week, I had imagined it many times. Busy but fun. Just a nice steady pace. We had visiting with family, our puppy's first obedience class, my husbands parents coming to stay for the weekend, and finally our big night out. My husband's Christmas Party. That once a year soiree where we get out and feel like grown ups. I even have a manicure booked at the spa. If you know me, you'll know that my lifestyle does not lend itself to a manicure. However, it's so nice to get all dressed up and look at freshly polished nails rather than trying to guess what exactly a cuticle is anyways.

But I digress. This week has been eventful to say the least. Monday evening I got sick. Sick enough to go to bed and wonder if the weekend would come and go with me still in bed (ha! like I'd have that luxury!) Tuesday was fantastic with a wonderful visit with family we haven't seen in a long time. But just about the time to leave them, I started feeling really lousy as a result of a vaccination. Another early night in bed but this time with the chills and my skin crawling. Yesterday, I fell down the stairs while trying to clean up the house. I was taking a big plastic box that held the evidence of our Christmas decorations that went unused. That took a big part of my afternoon and just plain ruined it.

So I have high hopes for today. I still need to clean, and finish preparing for the party tomorrow... But the calvary is arriving in the form on loving grandparents who will kindly overlook any missed mess in favor of gazing upon their grandchildren.